Ohhhhhhhhhh 69
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Posted:Aug 12, 2012 2:19 pm
Last Updated:Sep 10, 2012 8:17 pm
15126 Views
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I love my sister, but I sometimes wonder who is this strange-strange woman.
One of the things we love, for sister night, is going to Bingo. We have dabbers, one each from the dollar store. This is the sum total of our gear. We go a few times a year and never win. Or neither of us has won anything worth remembering in the last 10 years.
I go for the people watching. Who sits where, how the set up, what they eat or drink (we have always, openly, brought our own food and never had a problem), and who is there.
As a single, straight woman, if I wanted to meet the man of my dreams, I'd be better off at a lesbian bar. Many of the ladies there would be better looking and more manly then then men at Bingo.
My sister goes for "Ohhhhhhhh 69". We have been going for more ten years (ok, not regularly) and each time she hears it, it's as funny as the first time. If a round ends, with it *not* being called, she will pout until it is called. This partly explains why after the intermission, there is no one sitting anywhere near us.
I've never understood the appeal of 69. Yes, multi-tasking is great...but don't some things deserve your full attention? No distractions. Just focus on the task at hand? Or maybe it's related to the fact that some things I can only do one at a time? How many people are really doing a good job? I'm not sure.
Maybe it's just too fancy for me? On the bright side, 68 (69 except you can owe me one) works out well, and no one's complained so far.
I'll leave the multi-tasking to others...ya gotta go with your strengths.
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Sex Once vs Sex Twice - Part II
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Posted:Aug 10, 2012 10:08 am
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2024 11:6 am
14634 Views
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Thank you to the six people who participated in my poll; of course I voted as well.
SEVEN VOTES? Really, none of the other viewers have an opinion? This is pitiful. 
If you are reading this and have *NOT* voted, please vote.
Sometime today.
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Is this the wrong site for me?
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Posted:Aug 9, 2012 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2012 6:19 am
14943 Views
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For the second time this week, I've had a man tell me that I should consider a different site.
I think he's right as well.
Should I wait for the third time to be the charm? No. Next week (the 16th) is my four-month anniversary, and I'll be leaving and/or taking a one month break. I need to think about what to do next.
Both men suggested a *different* website...and their answers aren't even closely the same. One suggestion is based on the idea that this site is too vanilla for me. The other is that I'm too vanilla for this site.
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, than words are up to the interpretation of the reader.
They're looking at the same situation from polar opposites. Both suggestions are valid. One will be plan A, the other plan B...and coming back here would be plan C.
Hopefully, I'll get lucky with plan A. I'm ready to find the man I'm looking for. Now would be nice.
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Words of Wisdom
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Posted:Aug 7, 2012 6:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2012 9:32 pm
14889 Views
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"I'd start focusing on the people who are what you need."
My email friend, R, is right. My head has been buried in the sand. Fuckspace.com - Sex Dating / Swinger Community is not the right site for me. I've changed my profile repeatedly, but am still searching. I've gotten emails and flirts from hundreds of men. Jaysus Christ I wish I was exaggerating! I have two email friends (the good ones are always too far away), one no category friend and one FWB. Great, but not exactly what I was hoping for.
Fuckspace.com - Sex Dating / Swinger Community is far too entertaining to give up entirely, but I'm also ready to accept that entertaining is not the same as *working*. My four month anniversary is next week. I never thought I'd make it through the first month (thanks honey bunny) but I did.
My toes are in the water on the new site...if you find me there, my name is the same, say hi. I'm finding that the world, and the city I live in, is smaller than I realise.
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Fifty Shades of Grey - Part III
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Posted:Aug 6, 2012 9:06 am
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2012 8:46 pm
14875 Views
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My mom brings this up during a phone call his morning. She wants to read it, "everyone is talking about it, so I want to see what all the excitement is about."
I'm afraid of the future where people on the phone will be able to see your face, instead I let my jaw drop, until it gets over taken by my (slightly) evil smile.
"I can get them for you! Amazon will have the best price, and you can read them when you're here visiting!"..."I'm thrilled to be able to buy these books for you!"
When I arrive with the books on Day One of her one week visit, my sister will DIE. Sigh. The thought of my mom sitting on the couch reading, knowing that my sister *LOVED* them (oh, did I let that slip out?), makes me smile. Sadly, I won't be able to join them in the This Is Hell Book Club, because I haven't read the books yet.
She knows why she's earned this torture....
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Searching For Average/Average
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Posted:Aug 5, 2012 11:56 am
Last Updated:Aug 20, 2012 8:50 pm
14927 Views
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If you polled 100 people at least 80 will say "I'm a very good driver", a few will be modest and say "I'm an above average driver" and I will say "I'm a bad driver." Obviously, we can't all be telling the truth. If this *was* true the most logical/economical answer to all of life's problems would for me to get a bus pass. Tada the end of required car insurance as we know it! I know I'm special, my mom told me so, but I don't think my tickets (parking and driving-a-little-too-fast) and fender bender (ok, fine, one total write-off), balances out everyone else.
As Dr House says "Everyone lies."
On this site there are, statistically speaking, too many long/very long/thick/very thick "male endowments"
Are men lying? Probably.
People lie to look good and so people will like them. How much do I weigh? Ha. Ha ha ha. Yeah right.
Why lie about size?
1) Because they don't realize they're wrong. The human body parallel to the car side mirror that says things are closer than they appear or, in this case, smaller.
2) Bigger is better, so you'll get more interest.
3) Because everyone else is lying.
But we're missing an important point...where are all the average/average? Out there, having freaky monkey circus sex! Apparently, very few of them need to look online to find someone to have sex with.
Hmmm, who should I be looking for?
I'm having serious doubts about "bigger is better"* school of thought. If you are an A/A willing to participate in my "research study" I'm sure I'll be able to find some way to make it worth your time...
*BBW probably *ARE* better.
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Email of the Day
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Posted:Aug 3, 2012 10:14 pm
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2012 12:21 pm
14878 Views
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I'm surprised that I'm still getting emails.
I've been on the site since April, so my profile isn't new; I'm 36; I don't have any photos on the first page of my profile; and what I've written is slightly boring. I'm thinking about what to write next.
Between my inbox and my filtered-inbox, I see some of the best and worst, examples of public school education.
But everyday, there is an email that should be saved for a "Best of the Worst" blog.
Today's entry:
Included gems like "discrete relationship" - to which I wanted to reply "Absolutely! A relationship separate from you sounds like a great idea"....which raises the question; why are so many mennusing the wrong version of discrete? The correct spelling is ALL OVER THE SITE!
I could go on, but will cut to the good (as in interesting/funny):
I didn't know there were so many Joannas on the site!
I can only imagine what I'll see next.
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How old is your profile?
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Posted:Aug 2, 2012 6:22 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2012 8:57 pm
15038 Views
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There are two important membership dates: when did you sign up and when did you write your profile.
"Membership Since" - I've been contacted by men three days after they signed up and some who have been members for more than ten years. And of course, some people you just can't tell.
Profile Written Date - This is something I'm seeing on my own...someone who is "new here" but has been a member for more than six months. A profile that says 37, when the number next to the "M" is 41. And more.
It clears up something for me...of course no one is reading what I've written. Why would a man read *my* profile if he hasn't read his own in over a year?
In three months, I've written/edited/rewritten my profile three times. I'm thinking about what I want to say next. I'm changing. My wants and needs are changing. What I've written needs to change to match this.
An old introduction makes me pause. If he's not willing to put in the effort to check his *own* profile every few months, what else is he going to be lazy about? A little effort goes a long way.
Men: Re-read your profile: How old is it?; Is it still accurate?; Does it seem dated? Sexy has been brought back, and it's left again. I've worked to write something interesting, please do the same.
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Nothing to Say
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Posted:Aug 1, 2012 1:41 pm
Last Updated:Aug 2, 2012 2:42 pm
14807 Views
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My mom called on Sunday. When I saw that it was her, I froze in fear. Yeah different area codes! She called my sister to tell me that she called. I called back this morning...when I knew she'd back at work. Going for a visit for my birthday weekend? I'd rather spend the weekend on a hunger strike...while watching my sister eat my cake.
She has too much to say and I have too little to say.
Last Friday's date went well; or great depending on which person you are. On Sat & Sun there were some "how's your weekend going?" messages.
Sunday included vague "Friday evening" plans.
Nothing Monday. Nothing Tuesday. Nothing so far today.
He hasn't sent me a message and I haven't sent him a message.
I don't have anything to say. Apparently he doesn't either.
Sadly, it tells me that he is not a good candidate for FWB.
I'm ok with that.
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A Woman's Perspective
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Posted:Aug 1, 2012 7:32 am
Last Updated:Aug 3, 2012 1:11 pm
14918 Views
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When we first started talking I mentioned my FWB to my sister, at the time I thought it would develop into a "something"; it has but not exactly what I had hoped for. There is a lot of friend, but not so much benefit. We message everyday, and often a few times a day. Sex? The current *some* is better than the previous *none* but...more would be better. Sigh.
It feels strange to me, but he and I talk about who I am communicating with and how dates have gone.
My sister and friends think that my FWB is my boooooyfriennnnnnnd. I haven't corrected them. They are all so happy that the crazy-spinster-cat-lady has met someone, that it makes me happy too.
Support Group Steph *knows* that his communication skills are driving me crazy, *but* she doesn't know the topic of conversation. Support Group Steph aka Can't Keep A Secret Steph can't be told the whole truth.
He is the only person I discuss this site and related stuff with.
He doesn't have a woman's perspective. He doesn't even do a very good job of trying. Sigh. His contributions to discussions include: "Maybe"; "I dunno"; "I guess". The one that makes me want to stick a fork in his eye? "It'll all work out the way it's meant to." Ahhhhhhh!
Talking to him is better than talking to the cat, but not by much.
I should check "Community" to see if there's a group. Hmmm.
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Overnight Guests
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Posted:Jul 30, 2012 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2012 10:53 pm
14747 Views
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Last month I posted that I hadn't had an overnight guest (June 24 -My Bed). My rationale, at the time, was that I didn't want a parade of men sleeping through my bed...Goldilocks and the Three Bears is a story for . My bed is "just right" for me. The cat doesn't like overnight company too.
That's still true, but it isn't the whole story.
I'm avoiding having a man in my bed *BECAUSE* it's in the bedroom. Huh? The bed is parallel to the mirrored closet. A smallish bedroom, with a queen sized bed, means the entire length of the bed faces a mirror. This was great for "The Pink Tank Top" picture, but not so much for the rest of life.
I lost most men here, someone cue the cheesy 1970s porn music, but at least one woman is thinking "I feel your pain sister."
I am quite happy having sex without a full visual.
The mirror, which might be a huge turn-on for some men would be a huge distraction for me.
On my back: Oh, the sunless tanner does help match my tanned calf to thigh! That mirror is beyond streaky, later I should YouTube how to do a better job.
On top: I had no idea my cellulite was this bad! Do I have time to schedule a haircut for tomorrow? I have a poofy spot in the back that needs to be taken care of. And more.
Sadly, in both scenarios, I've lost focus on what *should* be happening SEX, and am involved in an in-depth body analysis. I'm thinking...and not moving.
The only solution....BLOW JOB! Thank god I read the book.
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To link to this blog (rm_Joanna95060) use [blog rm_Joanna95060] in your messages.
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