Getting this off my chest...  

whysaywhat1 38F  
46 posts
7/11/2018 11:16 pm
Getting this off my chest...


To reinforce the reason I typically avoid exes....

First, the most recent breakup...his mother thought it was important to let me know he’s single again. I told you she knew we were more than friends...but why the hell does she want me to know you’re single again? I mean...I called that one, but sheesh! She is such a nice woman...it’s why I decided not to spill all the secrets I know.

Then, to add insult to injury (though neither thing really hurt me any now), I ran across a fb post from the “man” I divorced 15 years ago, wishing his son a happy 16th birthday. Well, I can math...the flipping kid was BORN before he moved to the other side of the state and I filed for a divorce! I’ve known for the last 15 years that he was cheating on me with a guy, dude confessed to me after he left. But, somehow finding out that he was also sleeping with another woman and got her pregnant has surprised me....so much more than seeing that he had gotten divorced again and married a man this time.

I know neither of these things effect me now and it’s a blessing I didn’t know about the kid prior to the divorce, it really could have drug that process out. But, with my busy schedule this summer and lack of finding anyone to fill the time I do have available...sometimes leaves me wondering if I’m not the problem here.

Then I remember, I’m not the one who cheated...I didn’t move away from my partner (a blessing since it was abusive, but that’s a long story for a different forum). I didn’t throw away a 2.5 year relationship for a less than 8 week fling for the third time. I’m better off without them, I’m HAPPIER without them, but it still stings, especially the most recent one because these were guys I put my full trust in. There are others who have my full trust that haven’t let me down, but the bad experiences always stand out more prominently than the good memories and good people. There can be a thousand good memories and the only ones I can see clearly are the few bad ones.

I will have many, many more happy experiences, and a few more bad or sad ones, and I look forward to them, even as I struggle to wrap my brain around the new information I have.

whysaywhat1 38F  
29 posts
7/12/2018 12:17 am

Thanks, it’s been eating at me. Doesn’t help when I miss the people I was so close to not so very long ago. Or I guess I miss what we were in the beginning, I know I wasn’t happy and clearly he wasn’t or he wouldn’t have left. Just hung a sad day.


nicebuttocks1950 68M  
156 posts
7/12/2018 4:11 am

Good morning, it is sad to be sad. I hope you can cheer up!!!!


whysaywhat1 38F  
29 posts
7/12/2018 11:23 am

Always, just needed to get it out.


Hunghubby 54M  
47 posts
7/12/2018 3:59 pm

I know it hurts, but it sounds as though it was all for the best, you know?

Trust is a big one in any relationship.


whysaywhat1 38F  
29 posts
7/12/2018 6:45 pm

It really doesn’t hurt...but it sure put things in perspective. Speaking on my ex husband anyway. When it left, it was a sudden rush to leave within a few weeks and then he left early. Knowing it was for a reason (I assume the child’s mother was demanding more than he was ready to give), even a bad reason makes it all make sense.


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